At first we feel envy: if only we had the quality or skill of the superior person we would be happy. But envy brings us neither comfort nor any closer to equality. Nor can we admit to feeling it, for it is frowned upon socially to show envy is to admit to feeling inferior. To close friends, we may confess our secret unrealized desires, but we will never confess to feeling envy. So it goes underground. We disguise it in many ways, like finding grounds to criticize the person who makes us feel it.
He may be smarter than I am, we say, but he as no morals or conscience. Or he may have more power, but that’s because he cheats. If we do not slander him,perhaps we praise him excessively…another of Envy’s disguises
First, accept the fact that there will be people who will surpass you in some way and also the fact that you may envy them. But make that feeling a way of pushing yourself to equal or surpass them someday. Let envy turn inward and it poisons the soul, expel it outward and it can move you to greater heights.
And by the time you realize that envy is the root of a person’s feelings about you, it is often too late. Your excuses, your false humility, your defensive actions only exacerbate the problem. Since it is far easier to avoid creating envy in the first place than to get rid of it once it is there, you should strategize to forestall it before it grows. It is often your actions that stir up envy, your own unawareness. By becoming conscious of those actions and qualities that create envy, you can take the teeth out before it nibbles you to death.