HOW TO RECOVER AFTER BREAKUP

There are a lot of reasons why people breakup. Growing apart is one of it

‘’wouldn’t it be easier if we could just send a boy, bye’’

Unfortunately, in this current situation where so many flings or long term things doesn’t go as planned, figuring out how to say so long and move on has become harder than perfecting a cheek contour or the perfect brows…SIGHS!!

The process can be cloudy, haggard, prolonged and seeing your previous flames on your social feed is HELLL!!

A broken heart can feel the rock punched you in the chest and our self-esteem can’t take a serious hit. No wonder research has found that nearly half of young adults run back to their exes!!

REASONS WHY COUPLES BREAKUP

  1. Someone cheated
  2. They just weren’t the one
  3. One of them wanted to take it to the next level and the other doesn’t want to
  4. They argue, quarrel and fight too much
    They have different life goals

“ditch him like an adult”

Steps to a drama-free independence

  • Be very clear

“people try to be nice by making a breakup sound less definite, but it should be definite”says Gary lewandowski

  • Take ownership
  • Get back to doing you

“you probably loved this person, so you are not going to get off feeling totally clean” says Lewandowski

  • Beat guilt or remorse by re-calling the legit reasons why you made this choice
  • Avoid a Zombie relationship.

Most people stay in contact with their ex because they know they can rely on that person or due to sentimental value, others might have darker motivations, since people with counter traits are more likely to maintain ties for pragmatic reasons like wanting money or for easy access to sex

“even though change is mandatory, suffering is optional”

Tips to survive a breakup

  • Cry all you want
    “let the tears flow, it’s healthy you are releasing grief and pain”
  • Do something everyday to help yourself heal, learn something new{your bucketlist could help if you have one}
  • Find emotional support
  • Don’t be a doormat
  • Keep yourself busy
  • Don’t try to mask your pain by trying to find a replacement
  • Don’t spend too much time alone
  • Trust your feelings
  • Take your time
  • Research
  • Trust that you were not put here to suffer and that your life will not just be OK, it will be wonderful “love will come again next time

Do’s and Don’ts in Breakup

Do

  1. Think over what you want and why you want it“even if the other person might be hurt by your decision, it’s OK to do what’s right for you”
  2. Think about what you’ll say and how the other person might react
  3. Have good intentions
  4. Be honest-but not brutal
  5. Say it in person
  6. If it helps, confide in someone you trust

DON’T

  1. Avoid the other person or the conversation you need to have “you never want the person you breaking up with hear it from someone else before hearing it from you”
  2. Don’t rush into a difficult conversation without thinking it through
  3. Don’t disrespect

These do’s and don’ts aren’t just for breakup, if someone asks you out and you are not interested. You can follow this guidelines

What to say and how to say it

  • Tell your partner you want to talk about something important
  • Start by mentioning something you like or value about the other person
  • Say what’s not working
  • Say you want to break up
  • Say you are sorry if this hurts
  • Say something kind or positive
  • Listen to what the other person wants to say
  • Give the person space

Relationships help us learn, whether they last a long time or a short time, relationships can have special meaning  value.A break-up is an opportunity to learn, though it’s not easy. Ending a relationship as hard as it builds our skills when it comes to being honest and kind during difficult conversations

How to recover from breakup

Romantic relationship brings out intense emotions that are often override logic or explanations. When a breakup is unexpected or sudden, the rejection can be more intense or traumatic. The rupture to one’s self-esteem, the end of one’s plans and hopes and the reminder of one’s past sense of rejection or failure can all be devastating. “self-care is crucial after breakup”

This steps might be helpful in getting over a breakup

  • Take sometime off and let it out
  • Listen to sad music
  • Talk to supportive people
  • Read books about breakups
  • Sleep, eat and exercise
  • Treat yourself right
  • Meet new people
  • Set firm boundaries

Breakups are almost universal, but still cataclysmal events in our life experience, don’t hesitate to seek professional help and breakups deserve careful attention. The good news is that in most cases, after the devastating rain, the clouds clear out.

In conclusion, breakups can lead to positive growth and maturity, deeper self-knowledge and better days ahead.

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