Stop asking her if she’s mad. She’s not mad!
* Just because she’s shy doesn’t mean she’s not confident. Please don’t mistake being shy for not being self-assured. She’s confident in who she is and knows what she wants, even if she may not always appear that way. Chances are, she’s always trying her best to radiate a more #boss-like persona, but in the meantime, CAN SHE LIVE?!
* She’s independent. She’s never been the type of person who *needs* to be in a relationship, or even someone to go to dinner with. She’s perfectly content on her own. She knows what she wants in life and she’s determined to make it happen. She isn’t going to waste time in a relationship with someone who isn’t as independent as she is.
* She actually needs to be by herself occasionally. Maybe it’s reading a book, maybe it’s listening to her favorite album in its entirety. Whatever it is, that time is sacred and it recharges her soul , so don’t question it.
* It can be challenging for her to open up to people. So, if she is telling you about her family, her goals in life, or anything that’s super important to her, it’s because she trusts you.
* You want to introduce her to friends and family? Great! Please plan a small gathering as opposed to a huge party where 20 strangers will descend on her at once and freak her out.
* No, she doesn’t dislike your friends and family. She simply hasn’t had enough time to get to know them yet.
* Being the center of attention is basically her worst nightmare. Karaoke in front of a billion people? Yeah, no.
* How to gracefully accept a compliment is probably a thing she has yet to master. “Oh, you like my hair?! Thanks! It’s actually the worst, I don’t know why I wore it like this. But yeah, I like your, um, face. I mean, your hair is great too, super good. OK, bye.”
* She’s an incredible listener.
Seriously, the best of the best. Shy girls listen — like, really listen — to each and every one of your thoughts with the most discerning ear. She’ll add her own two cents, but she’ll also always let you finish what you want to say.
* Surprise! She enjoys parties. First of all, the more people, the less of a chance there is that all the attention will be on her.
Secondly, being shy doesn’t mean she hates meeting new people! It just takes her a little longer to come out of her shell. If she isn’t speaking too much at first, it’s not because she’s disinterested. She’s surveying the scene and taking it all in. She’ll chime in to the conversation eventually.
* She’s obsessed with outgoing people. No, really! Many of her friends are the life of the party and she loves them for it. They reminder her that it’s OK to loosen up once in awhile.
* Don’t call her out for not being able to make eye contact. Making solid eye contact is a legitimately difficult thing to do when you’re shy! She gets anxiety just thinking about it.
* She’s probably not looking for a shy guy. Realistically speaking, the two of you wouldn’t be able to look each other in the eye and everything would be a hot mess. Besides, opposites attract, etc.
* She’s selfless. She’s not the type of person who craves attention. She finds joy in other people’s happiness, and she expects the person she dates to do the same.
* Don’t assume she’s socially awkward or inept. She just mixes all the words up when she speaks because meeting new people is exhausting, OK?! There’s a difference.
* She’s totally game to try new things. She might not be the first person to come up to you at a party, but she’s daring, adventurous, and an even (gasp!) outgoing once you get to know her.
* Yes, it’s going to take some time to get to know her. But it is totally worth the effort.