ENVY

The human animal has a hard time dealing with feelings of inferiority. In the face of superior skill, talent or power, we are often disturbed and I’ll at ease, this is because most of us have an inflated sense of ourselves and when we meet people who surpass us they make it clear to us that we ate in fact mediocre or at least not as brilliant as we had thought. This disturbance in our self-image cannot last long without stirring up ugly emotions.

At first we feel envy: if only we had the quality or skill of the superior person we would be happy. But envy brings us neither comfort nor any closer to equality. Nor can we admit to feeling it, for it is frowned upon socially to show envy is to admit to feeling inferior. To close friends, we may confess our secret unrealized desires, but we will never confess to feeling envy. So it goes underground. We disguise it in many ways, like finding grounds to criticize the person who makes us feel it.

He may be smarter than I am, we say, but he as no morals or conscience. Or he may have more power, but that’s because he cheats. If we do not slander him,perhaps we praise him excessively…another of Envy’s disguises

There are several strategies for dealing with the insidious, destructive emotion of envy

First, accept the fact that there will be people who will surpass you in some way and also the fact that you may envy them. But make that feeling a way of pushing yourself to equal or surpass them someday. Let envy turn inward and it poisons the soul, expel it outward and it can move you to greater heights.

Second, understand that as you gain power, those below you will feel envious of you. They make not show it but it inevitable. Do not naively accept the facade they show u read between the lines of their criticisms, their little sarcastic remarks, the signs of backstabbing, the excessive praise that is preparing you for a fall, the resentful look in the eye. Half the problem with envy comes when we do not recognize it until its too late. Finally, expect that when people envy you they will work against you insidiously. They will out obstacles in your path that you will not foresee, or that you cannot trace to their source. It Is hard to hard to defend yourself against this kind of attack. And by the time you realize that envy is the root of a person’s feelings about you, it is often too late. Your excuses, your false humility, your defensive actions only exacerbate the problem. Since it is far easier to avoid creating envy in the first place than to get rid of it once it is there, you should strategize to forestall it before it grows. It is often your actions that stir up envy, your own unawareness. By becoming conscious of those actions and qualities that create envy, you can take the teeth out before it nibbles you to death.