People often think once you meet/know someone they automatically become your friend but it isn’t so…

Let assume you become friends with someone you met the same day which is not possible because you don’t know the person yet, same way I don’t believe in love at first sight (it scam)

Most people don’t even know the meaning of friendship, you knowing a lot of people doesn’t mean they are your friends but most people don’t get that.

I’m going to use myself as an example

Growing up I knew a lot of people because I changed school every session, I knew a lot of people in my area then (I still do), my madrasa (an Arabic school) then I believed we were all friends, I even believed some were my sisters because we were so close then. We literally do everything together then, we wear the same cloth, knew the same set of people till we completed our primary school education

Entering junior secondary school, we all went to different schools, I went to a boarding school, some relocated far away, some were still staying close but we weren’t in touch like before. Getting to a boarding school everything changed I literally cried throughout the first term then. Although I met new people and made new friends.

During my first mid-term break, I came home feeling excited to see my friends and gist them about the life of a boarding student but I was just deceiving myself because everyone changed, I felt distant, I felt like a stranger because they got new friends already, it was like I never existed. I cried for a little while because I lost my friends already, we get to see at madrasa tho, some we meet on the street and we just say HI and that’s all, we weren’t buddies anymore, they all moved on with their life and I did with mine

Unfortunately, I was deceiving myself when I  insisted on going to the same coaching lesson my childhood friends attended  then maybe just maybe they will change but I only hurt myself more, I became a loner. After that I made up my mind to make new friends which I did, made new friends in my coaching lesson, boarding school in short I had close friends everywhere
After my junior secondary school education came back to lagos to further my education. I went to a new school, met new people, made new friends and the chain continued. After my SSCE examination, I attended tutorials, computer school, met new people, made new friends and that was how I lived then.

I was home one day with mum and I thought about my life, I’m done with secondary school, what next. Then I thought about the people I claimed to be my friends, the memories, the pain and I said to mum “I know a lot of people but I have little or no friends”. I decided to call the people I had their contacts, found some on facebook and everyone seem different even the people I thought were my close pals then acted strange, I planned on visiting the ones staying around then but they all gave me excuses that was when I knew the meaning of friendship. I lost a lot of people I thought were my friends, I locked myself indoor because I didn’t want to meet new people not to talk of being friends with them to the extent I shut a particular girl in my house out then, she really tried being friends with me but I didn’t give her the chance we still neighbors tho but we don’t talk. LIFE!!!


Of course, the people who were my real and good friends stayed most of them don’t even stay close, those are my real friend, the good friends I have even though I haven’t seen some in ages but we still in touch, we know what’s going on each other life. There’s a particular friend I met through a chatting platform, funny how I met this guy because I literally abused him then but now we best of friends, he’s one of the good friends I have even though we haven’t seen each other for once, he can write a book about me and I can about him, he’s one of the good people GOD blessed me with and he’s one of those that stayed

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying your real/good friends can’t stay close, I have quite a number of friends that stays close to me but most of them don’t. Just have it in mind that what works for you might not for another person, so just DO you

I still know a lot of people but I have few friends

Like I said, all friendship change but the good ones will surely stay, no matter what even if you lose contact they still going to find a way to come back into your life. Few of my childhood friends came back and we close like they never left, they are one of my support system. Even though we hardly see each other, haven’t seen some In ages but they are one of the good friends GOD blessed me with.

Ask yourself these questions





Once you able to answer these questions, you will see changes in yourself and your life



Comments (12)

  1. Vic
    January 10, 2019 Reply

    so touching

    • Esther
      January 10, 2019 Reply

      Nice story

      • theaduni
        January 10, 2019 Reply

        Thank you.. Glad you enjoyed it

    • theaduni
      January 11, 2019 Reply

      I know right

  2. esther
    January 10, 2019 Reply


    • theaduni
      January 10, 2019 Reply

      Thank you

  3. Anne
    January 11, 2019 Reply

    I love how open and honest this post is! I think it is so true that good friends do stay no matter what.

    • theaduni
      January 11, 2019 Reply

      They definitely stay no matter what….

  4. Despite Pain
    January 13, 2019 Reply

    I’m sorry you’ve had a difficult time with friends. Moving so often couldn’t have helped. Sometimes friends don’t need to see each other often, but they can be close.

    • theaduni
      January 13, 2019 Reply

      I know right but most people just don’t get that

  5. Erica
    January 18, 2019 Reply

    This was a great post. I am going through something right now as it relates to someone that I thought was my close friend. I wished I can tell the story here, but I miss my friend.

    • theaduni
      January 18, 2019 Reply

      You can reach me on all social media.. Follow the social media icons and you can share your story there…
      I know exactly what you going through and what you feeling right now because have been there…. But then with time you will know your real friends

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