What is the first thing that came to your mind when you saw this title. What is the one thing you’ve always wanted to do or things you planned on doing but you afraid of what people will say, what their reaction would be, what will they see you has..and so on. These are the main reason some people refuse to grow, the reason why some people have been in the same position for years, you know why because they are scared of what people will say, scared to try new things.

There are a lot of people out there who have amazing things in their head, mind blowing ideas but they scared to do it, scared of how people might take it. Some it because of their family because they have this perfect record of being the good child, the good niece or nephew, the good cousin and they don’t want anything to happen to that record.

I was talking to friend last Sunday and she was complaining bitterly about her parents especially her dad. Here’s a peep in our conversation, she said her dad wants her to be wearing niqab (a long hijab worn by muslim ladies) but she doesn’t like wearing it, she prefers wearing her top and trouser but he doesn’t like, he literally complains anytime she wears it, she’s fed up but there is nothing she can do about it. Mind you she is 300 level medical student of the university of lagos(UNILAG). There was a time last year she went to a beach hangout and she lost her phone in the process but she had to lie to her father she was robbed in her hostel because her father mustn’t know she went to a beach hangout and that to she lost her phone there, if he gets to know the truth she’s never getting a phone in her life from him, there was a time he even threatened to come to her school and if she doesn’t dress proper, he will embarrass her in school, imagine her own father.

YEAH!!! African parents are like that, annoying especially the fathers, what they don’t know is that there is a limit to everything. My parents were once like that, they believe once you wear niqab you are a good child, I should emulate them and be like them. What they don’t know is, we can wear it in their presence and off it behind their backs.

My father was literally like her dad, I would say worse then because you not allowed to go out, you can’t invite friends over unless he knows them and he believes they are good influence on you, I just have to stay indoor but the day wire sparked in my head, trust me you don’t want to know the details, the man turned a new leaf as in my father changed to a better person to the extent that we plan my outings together, we talk about concerts. Last December when we saw the advert of the ACCESS concert and people who had account with access were entitled to a ticket, he asked if I wanted to go, we even talked about adekunle’s gold that was scheduled for three days but I can’t go to concerts alone.. my father literally transformed even I was surprised, he told me few days back won’t I register my business with federal government, I had to pinch myself was this my father talking. We still disagree on things tho and I won’t say we are best of friends but my father sure changed.

My point if you always do what your parents wants you or expect you to do, my dear they going to control you forever. I know a lot of people in school studying the course their parent want them to do, some people literally ask for permission before they do anything (I’m not saying it a bad thing tho) but my dear I’m not sorry to say this “your life is boring, boring as hell”

You don’t have to be a bad child to get your message across to them but some parents don’t like the easy way “I’m not asking you to rebel o”

I told my friend, my dear if you continue like this it going to get worse, trust me, it will and I know there are a lot of people out there in this kind of situations but they can’t talk or do anything about it and some uncles don’t help issues at all.

I once had an uncle like that, monitoring my life on facebook, we still friends on facebook but I don’t talk to him again and he’s still my uncle, can’t change uncle. I have many instances, people that don’t mind their business in my area now I don’t even greet them again. Have been tagged the bad girl and I like it, everyone knows where they stand, now I command respect I don’t beg for it. If I choose to open my hair today, cover it the next day, I will because I owe nobody an explanation why I do what I do, it my life, my choice.

I was able to do all this when I stopped giving a fuck about what people think, or the kind of person people expect me to be SCREW IT, JUST DO IT and it has been working well for me. The method I used might not work for you just study the people you want to talk to or the people you want to change and approach them in a way they going to get it. People who knows me know if I don’t like you, I will show you I don’t like you, I will tell you I don’t like you, that’s the way I am. If you want some certain people to change, my dear study them and JUST DO IT.

  • What is the one thing you’ve always wanted to do
  • What are the things stopping you
  • What are you afraid of

Answer this questions and you good to go

I know a lot of people

  • who want to be models
  • who want to be video vixens
  • who are scared of visiting someone in an hotel room
  • who are scared to wear a particular outfit
  • who want to talk or be friends with a particular person but they can’t


Do something you’ve never done, scare your damn self



Comments (6)

  1. Vox
    January 17, 2019 Reply

    I am right at that “I am done” point in my life. In fact, my husband asked how I got home so early yesterday and I had to admit that I simply walked out the door and went home 30 minutes early—and skipped a meeting without formally asking. I mentioned last week that I would not be able to stay, however, I never ASKED to be excused (because I didn’t want to hear a “no,). I have gotten to the point where I know just what I cannot put up with and someone wasting my time (when I knew I needed to get my daughter to her dance class would have been unacceptable). Thanks for reminding why I am so cranky and squirrelly in my old age!

    • theaduni
      January 17, 2019 Reply

      Smiles… Glad I could be of help. Besides you can’t satisfy everyone and you owe no one an explanation how you live your life

  2. Chloe Daniels | Clo Bare
    January 17, 2019 Reply

    “Screw it just do it” is an awesome mantra. I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing more and more lately both in not listening to other’s opinions on my own life and also with procrastination. I also love “Done is better than perfect.”

    • theaduni
      January 17, 2019 Reply

      That’s the spirit… It your life and you get to decide…Like you said “Done is better than perfect”

  3. Temilayo
    January 17, 2019 Reply

    Have always wanted to be a model but I can’t just gave up on the dream and yh African parents are annoying they don’t understand anything ..they believe they can control you all your life and I can’t even tell my mum that I have boyfriend….and they are so many things I could have been doing by now but you can’t even explain that to an African parent they won’t even understand …..I just hate my life really…

    • theaduni
      January 18, 2019 Reply

      Awwwnnn.. Don’t hate yourself dear, yeah most of the African parents don’t get it but there will be someone who understands you in your family be it your uncle or aunt.. Just reach out to that person, trust me.. It goes a long way.. As long as someone in your family understands and support you.. With time your parents will come around.. Trust me

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